I Feel It All
by inflatabletigers
Summary: Multiple one shots containing glimpses of Katie's life and her relationship with Oliver. [KBxOW]


**Summary**: Glimpses of Katie's life and her relationship with Oliver.

R&R.

Lyrics are to a song by feist called "I Feel it All" from her album The Reminder. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own the song nor the book. The song is feist's and the characters are J.K. Rowling's.

* * *

_I feel it all, I feel it all  
I feel it all, I feel it all  
The wings are wide, the wings are wide  
Wild card in sight, wild card in sight_

I was flying! If you've never done it before, you could never understand the feeling. I feel it all; the wind through my hair, through my clothes. I can feel my feet dangling, the buzzing of my broom, eager for action. None of my meager words can describe what it is to fly. To fly. When I was younger I used to dream about fairies and their little wings that would carry them through the sky. I wished I could do that. I tried to jump off the roof once with my own set of fairy wings. I didn't make it very far, I'm afraid. My mother grabbed me as I was about to jump and pulled me back through my window. She explained to me that I couldn't fly; I was not a fairy.

May my mother rest in peace, but I am flying now. And my wings are wide; they stretch out to go anywhere I want. I am free and everything is in sight. Thank the man that invented the broom, mother, thank the man.

_Oh I'll be the one who'll break my heart  
I'll be the one to hope  
_

"Why did you dump Cedric?!"

That's Alicia. And Cedric is the Hogwarts hottie of Hufflepuff. I don't call him that, but apparently that's his title. Alicia never understood why I could never date anyone for longer than a week. When I was younger, I was always the one to hope, to dream. To believe that things could be better than they were. To believe that daddy would get better. Everyone always told me that it wouldn't be likely that he would ever be the same, some said he never would. I never believed them. I always had a hope that my dad would survive the attack. When I was just two years old he was driven crazy in a Death Eater attack. I was the only person left that had hope. My mother already acted like he was dead. Then he did die. Killed himself.

I could never blame him. Everyone told me that he wouldn't last long.

"Because I'll be the one to break my own heart, Alicia. I won't let him do it."

_  
Can I know more than I knew before  
I know more than I knew before  
I didn't rest, I didn't stop  
Did we fight or did we talk_

"BELL!"  
"Yes, Wood?"  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING OUT THERE?!"

"Playing Quidditch, Wood."

"I would hardly call _that_ Quidditch!"

"And what is that supposed to mean?!"  
"IT MEANS THAT YOU PLAYED RUBBISH TODAY!"  
"RUBBISH?! I WORKED MY BUTT OFF OUT THERE!"

"You worked hard? Yeah right, Bell. You haven't changed at all this season. You haven't learned anything."

"Oliver that's a bit unfair." My friend Angelina, poked in.

"I HAVEN'T WORKED HARD?! I'm the ONLY person on this team who learns those insane plays that you make up the first day! I'm the ONLY person on this team who practices outside of practice! Quidditch is what I do. So don't even start telling me that I don't work hard."

_Oh I'll be the one who'll break my heart  
I'll be the one to hope_

_Can I love you more  
I love you more  
I don't know what I knew before  
But now I know I want to win the war_

"Oliver, you know I love you. But this is something I have to do."

"Have to? What? Go get yourself killed in this insane war?"

"Oliver…"

"No, Katie. This isn't fair. I love you and you want to go kill yourself? You don't love me."

"Oliver I can't love you anymore than I already do. I'm not going to die. I'm going to let other people live. Can't you understand that? I want us to win this war."

_No one likes to take a test  
Sometimes we don't pull or flex  
Put your weight against the door  
Kick-drum on the basement floor_

"I said I don't want to talk to you, Oliver. Leave me alone."  
He's trying to push against the basement door. Trying to get it open. I can't talk to him, sitting here with my weight against the door. I'm hurting inside.  
"Katie we have to talk about this. You can't just lock yourself up in there."  
"……"  
"Maybe this is just a test on our relationship."  
"I don't like taking tests, Oliver."  
"Me either."  
BAM.  
There's a hole through my basement door with Oliver's foot in it.  
"OUCH!"  
I smile.

_  
Stranded in the thought of woods  
Looking like the winter bird  
On my head the water pours  
Cops stream through the open door  
Fly away  
Fly away the one who want to make_

They ripped the roof off of my house. The death eaters are here. It's pouring rain on me. I'm not thinking. I'm just trying to hurt these people who continually hurt me.

The Aurors just arrived; they're streaming through my door.

Everything hurts when the death eaters want to hurt you.

_I feel it all  
I feel it all  
The wings are wide  
Wild card in sight, wild card in sight_

I feel it all. The pain. The hurting. It won't stop.

All these people have died. And just to think that something I could have done could have saved them. I am unworthy of all the things that I have. There's the wild card in sight that could make me happy. But I don't deserve it. I don't deserve him.

_Oh I'll be the one who'll break my heart  
I'll be the one who'll break my heart  
I'll be the one who'll break my heart  
I'll end it, though you started it  
The truth, the lies  
The truth, the lies_

"Oliver. I don't deserve you."

What a truth.  
"Don't do this Katie… Don't do this…"  
"I have to. Goodbye, Oliver."  
"Katie! Please! Tell me you don't love me and I swear I'll leave you alone and walk away."

"I don't love you anymore, Oliver."

What a lie.

Why do I keep breaking my own heart?


End file.
